We’ve all been there. Really, we have. From the moment we start dating, one thing is for sure. We are all going to have to deal with having our heart broken. Whether it’s your first crush at school, or the end of a Twenty-year marriage. There’s a reason a million songs and movies have been written about it. The pain is real, and the suffering can feel at times unbearable. No matter what our age, figuring out how to get over heartbreak can be a lonely place and trying to move on from a broken relationship is rarely a quick and easy process.
Your friends and family will tell you to move on. And you know they’re right. But it’s not that simple. The truth is no one has the obvious answer when it comes to how to move on from someone. Or how to get over someone you love. And the keyword there is love, not loved. Because even when you have your heart broken it doesn’t magically change how you felt about the person. If anything the love you had for them suddenly multiples.
So for those suffering from a broken heart and wondering how to get over heartbreak we have set out eight tips to give you a helping hand in moving on from one great love and hopefully onto another.
If you need too, and in many ways, it will stir the same emotions, treat the end of a relationship as a death. If someone dies close to you, you don’t just carry on as if everything is normal. You stop what you’re doing, you take time for yourself to process what has happened.
This should be the same when you end a relationship and especially if you have your heart broken in the process. It’s ok to take a break from everyday life and grieve. You’ll inevitably have lots of questions you’ll need answering. Lots of things you’ll want to look back on. It’s completely normal and natural for this process to take a while.
Those early days, when the heart break is so raw you feel like you can hardly breathe are undoubtedly the worse. And no matter how hard you try, you’re going to think about that one that got away. A lot. So, it’s vital you have other things on your mind, or things you can go and do that will take you away from those thoughts, even if it’s just an hour here or there.
The difference this will make for your own sanity is immeasurable and it will prove one important point which will be a great help moving forward. That you can live without this person. You can have moments of joy without this person. You can laugh and be happy without them, maybe only briefly for now but it’s a start.
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Having your heartbroken makes you question many things. But this doesn’t have to be a bad thing. Use this time to focus on yourself rather than the person whose broke your heart. This is your chance to create a new and improved you. And if you manage that then it means something good has come out of getting your heart broken.
If it helps make a list, be honest and really ask yourself to want you want in your life moving forward. The obvious answer is them, but if that’s off the table what else do you really want. The main advantage of being single is that you can live for just you and make choices that only affect you. So, once you know what you want start making those choices, no matter how hard they may be.
Now as much as we advise trying not to think about your ex, the reality is this will be nigh impossible in the first few weeks and probably months of your relationship ending. So, when you inevitably do think about them, don’t just romanticise the past. Be completely honest and truthful about how the relationship went and who exactly your ex was.
Chances are, as the relationships has ended, things weren’t all rosy and looking back you can see there were red flags as to the state of the relationship. As much as you loved and still do love them, who were they really? How did they treat you? They say the way someone breaks up with someone tells you a lot about how that person felt about the other. So, if they broke your heart, especially if it was in a really hurtful fashion, ask yourself this…. I really loved them, but did they really love me?
As mental health is at the forefront of many conversations. But there are very good reasons people say talking helps. Because it does! We are not all lucky enough to have people in our lives who care enough to listen. But if you do then please do use them. Just telling someone how you feel can be an incredible weight off your shoulders. And as mentioned at the beginning of this blog, everyone has been through heart break so sharing your pain with someone else might turn allow them to share their past experiences with you.
While there is a never a right or wrong answer when it comes to when you should start dating again after a breakup or having your heart broken, we would say this. Don’t do it straight away, you won’t be ready, and it’ll likely make you feel worse. But also, don’t take forever. As much as you don’t believe it now, you will meet someone else who will make you feel the way they did. So, it’s important you do get out there and start dating in London again, but when you feel ready. There won’t ever be a perfect time but go with your gut, it’s generally right.
Now this will seem like the most obvious pieces of advice but it’s also the one you may have trouble following the most. How can you not want to speak too or meet up with the person you’re still totally madly in love with? It’s only natural that even with your heart shattered into a thousand pieces, just the thought of holding them brings you the kind of joy reserved for kids on Christmas morning. But this quite possibly the worst thing you can do when trying to heal a broken heart. You need time and space away from them. There is literally no other way your heart can heal. So, delete their number. Delete all traces of them on social media. Do not under any circumstances contact them. We know you will ignore this, but we had to say it anyway. However, it is important to remember that healing from a broken heart is possible - and singles events are one way that you can start the process. Singles events provide an opportunity for people in the same situation as you to connect and share their stories with each other.