How To Be Interesting On Messages: 4 Tips

If there's one dating skill that you need to master in 2021, it's how to write a messages that are attractive and interesting. You want to be the person who makes someone smile when your names flashes up on their screen.

You don't want to get left on read, or archived to oblivion, for sending too many boring messages.

Boring really is at the crux of why some messages don't get a response. Creating messages that make someone want to invest (that's emotionally, not cash money people!) have never been more important.

We all know that the last Eighteen months haven't been easy, especially in our love lives. With lockdowns and restrictions, some of the usual channels to meet people in real life had to be put on pause, which for some could have been a good thing as it gave us a chance to figure out what's really important to us.

Speed dating and singles parties have been booming since restrictions were lifted. At True Dating, we have a high success rate of creating matches at our events, however once you start getting those matches, you really want to work on maintaning someone's interest with good messages that lead to dates.

If you can start to create a messaging style that's more playful and fun, you will also have the dual benefit of finding online dating less of a chore, and more energising.

So let's take a look at 4 ways you can make your messages more interesting to read and receive.

No one ever, ever needs to hear the question, 'So, how's the dating going? ever again. Apart from being repetitive, it also shines a big awkward light on the question, 'So why are you single?' This is a messaging mistake you'd do well to avoid.

Don't ask people how they're finding the apps or how many dates have they been on recently. Broach these topics in person where you can nuance how you phrase things, rather than going for this sledgehammer of a message.

And whilst we're on this topic, I'd also avoid asking how many other people they're messaging. In 2021, whether you meet someone on a dating app or at a singles event, it's safe to assume everyone is messaging quite a few people. This is okay.

Asking how many people someone is messaging, before you really know if you like each other, will come across as insecure so park that message for now.

At the risk of sounding a bit like a school English lesson, the structure of your messages makes a difference as to how exciting they seem when they're received.

Let me explain this bit!

If you begin you message, "Hey (name) how's your week going... "right from the get-go you're presenting yourself just like everyone else: and if there's one rule for messaging a potential date it's to be different!

Instead you want to shuffle the order in which you present information and start with the best piece of information you can glean from their online dating profile or when you met them at the speed dating or singles party. For instance, if you're an avid yoga fan and know they are too, zoom in on that piece of information and let that become the start of your message:

"Just finsihed a yoga session, feeing great! When's your next downward's dog?

Too long didn't read.

Sometimes, when we really want to express our interest in someone, we can end up sending long messages to show that we are sincerely interested and to provide some back story about ourselves.

However, in the rapid fire world of online dating and singles events, this can seem like too much interest too early on. Just like if you were to ask someone out on the first message you send them, you could be inadvertently telegraphing, "you don't have to do anything to win me over, it's already a yes from me..."

And someone should ALWAYS have to win you over. You never want to choose to invest your time and enerygy in someone because of their looks. So keep your opening message to a low pressure 2-3 lines and then wait for their response. If they come back to you, then you can build things up from there, and if they don't you can save your effort and move on.

Unless it's monopoly which rocks right? But seriously, games are for kids and in the dating world they're a red flag. They messaged me after two hours so I should message them after 3 hours is quite frankly stupid. It doesn't work and isn't going to be the difference between you getting a date or not. Everyone has different schdules so not everyone can respond to messages at the same time. But don't over think it. If you get a message from someone you like and you're free to reply straight away, do it.

No one has ever got a message from someone they really liked and wished they hadn't received it. Like wise, you replying quickly to their message isn't going to turn them off if they genuiley like you. Playing it cool with messages is just going to leave you out in the cold, respect someone's time and effort and they should do the same.

Written by Hayley Quinn, a top dating coach in London: https://www.hayleyquinn.com/