10 Most Common Speed Dating Mistakes
You’ve put on your best outfit, brushed up on your charming opener and popped a breath mint. Feeling more confident than ever, you breeze around the latest hot singles party in London town, only to be met with 0 matches at the end of the night.
Sound familiar?
If you’ve been attending every dating event London has to offer but still aren’t getting the results you’d hoped for, don’t despair. Whilst speed dating can be fun, it isn’t always a walk in the park – and there are some common faux pas daters make without even realising.
Having hosted our fair share of speed dating events as a London dating site, we can teach you a thing or two about becoming a successful dater So, if you’re being left high and dry on the regular, keep reading. And no, it’s not because there’s anything wrong with you!
Here are 10 sneaky mistakes that may be ruining your speed dating success:
1:You Don’t Plan Ahead And Are Often Late.
Getting around the city can be a pain even at the best of times, but on busy Friday or Saturday nights when many London speed dating events are held, it can be even easier to get caught out. Unfortunately, the disadvantages of being late are twofold. Firstly, if other attendees notice, it might give them a poor first impression of you. In an environment where first impressions count, this won’t get you off to a good start.
Secondly, if you’re late enough to miss out on a date or two, you immediately reduce your chances of receiving a match. Who knows, perhaps you missed being introduced to the love of your life whilst you were rushing from the tube! Planning your journey in advance and allowing plenty of time will allow you to remain calm and collected, so you feel fully prepared to put your best self forward.
2: You Get Too Drunk.
It goes without saying that speed dating can be nerve-wracking. If you’re introverted, inexperienced, or if you’ve just come out of a long-term relationship, getting onto the London speed dating scene may be even more daunting. It might be tempting to reach for a little Dutch courage to settle the pre-date jitters, but this can easily backfire.
Whilst there’s nothing wrong with enjoying your speed dates alongside a glass of wine, getting so blackout drunk that you wind up asking your date whether you should text your ex probably isn’t going to work in your favour. Keeping a clear head is a must if you want to maximise your speed dating success.
3: You Talk About Yourself Too Much.
During a speed date, it’s often much easier to talk about ourselves than to figure out the right questions to ask, but each date is only a few minutes long and this time will fly by. Be mindful of the short time you have together and make sure to ask your date some interesting questions, whilst actively listening to what they have to say.
Keep it natural, but aim for a good 50/50 conversation. If you find asking the right questions in the moment to be a little difficult, draw up some conversation starter ideas in advance. It’s normal to feel tongue-tied every now and then during a speed date, but a little planning and preparation can help alleviate this.
4: You Don’t Follow The Speed Dating Event Rules Correctly.
Sometimes, a dater’s lack of success can come down to simple logistics. Speed dating events often follow a similar format; you move from table to table sharing mini ‘dates’ with other singles, noting down whether you’d like to see each person again after your time with them is up. At the end of the evening, data is collated and your matches are revealed.
But not all dating events in London are one and the same. No matter how many speed dating events you’ve attended in the past, make sure to listen carefully to the rules on each occasion (another reason not to be late!) Being charming, outgoing and well-presented is all well and good, but you’ve got to have the basics down, too. Don’t miss out on a good connection simply because you forgot to give them a tick on your notecard.
5: You Have A Closed Mind.
Whilst it’s ok to have preferences and an idea of the type of person you’d like to meet, speed dating is not a place to go to with tunnel-vision. You don’t have to match with people you’re not attracted to, but do be open to meeting and making connections with people who are not your usual type. Deciding in advance that you won’t settle for anyone on less than a £100k salary, or who isn’t 6”4 with brown hair and green eyes might mean missing out on some potentially great connections.
6: You Don’t Turn Off Your Mobile Phone.
We know - perhaps you’ve rushed straight from work in the city to your dating event on the other side of London and haven’t quite switched off yet, but it’s important to be distraction-free. With just a few minutes to spend on each date, having your phone on the table could make you appear rude or disinterested. As we’ve already covered, speed dates are all about first impressions; give each date your full attention without interference from modern technology to ensure you make a good one.
7: You’re Not Dressing To Impress.
Taking some time to make sure you’re well dressed, well-groomed and presentable is the perfect way to increase your chances of success before even meeting a single date! Some speed dating events have a specific dress code or dress recommendations, so be sure to check out the event details beforehand. When dating in London, it’s likely that at least some of your fellow daters will have come straight from work, especially if it’s a weeknight event. If you also find yourself in this position, business casual should be fine - just steer clear of the dirty joggers and hoodie stained with last night’s pizza.
8: You’re Exuding Nervous Or Negative Energy.
Perhaps it’s the first time you’ve gone to a singles party in London, or maybe you have attended previously but without great success. Whatever your situation, it’s only human to feel a little apprehensive. If you’ve previously struggled with dating, you might also be feeling cynical about your hopes of finding love. Try to leave your worries and preconceptions at the door. Giving off an air of negativity or nervousness isn’t going to boost your chances – so let go of the emotions and beliefs that aren’t serving you.
9: You’re Trying To Be Someone You’re not.
With only a few minutes available to impress your partner, it can be tempting to exaggerate your successes or even sprinkle in a few ‘harmless’ white lies. And whilst this might get you the odd extra match if you can pull it off seamlessly, it’s usually pretty easy to see through. Even if adding a little spice does initially work, it’s very unlikely to be useful in the long run.
It’s much more effective to showcase your own personality and match with those who like you for you. The ultimate aim of speed dating is typically to go on and spend more time with the people you like, so any fibs that might have been easy to pull off for 3 minutes will likely be sussed out on a second date. Whilst being honest and authentic might not come with the same thrill, it is 100% the best long-term strategy for success.
10: You’ve Given up After One Speed Dating Event
Whilst attending even one singles party will grant you the opportunity to quickly meet a diverse group of new people, every London speed dating event has limited numbers. With this in mind, there’s no guarantee that you will find a good match on your very first try.
Not being immediately successful is quite normal, and certainly isn’t an indication that every event you go to will be the same. In fact, the most successful speed daters know the true benefits of attending multiple events. And of course, the more events you go to, the better practiced you will be - boosting your chances of success even further.
The Bottom Line
Whilst there are certain mistakes that can easily be avoided, don’t forget that the main objective of attending a London speed dating event is to have fun and meet new people. City life can be demanding, and the time to meet friends and romantic partners is often scarce.
So, yes, avoid these common mistakes where possible at your next singles party in London. But above all else, show up, relax, have fun and don’t sweat it if you don’t always get things 100% right. Explore our London dating site for more tips and tricks on how to boost your speed dating success.
If you feel ready to broaden your horizons and dive headfirst into the exciting world of speed dating, why not book your place on one of our next vibrant London speed dating events today?