10 Most Common Speed Dating Mistakes

Updated for 2025: practical tips for getting more matches at London speed dating events.

Speed dating should be fun, exciting, and a little bit nerve-tingling — not something that leaves you walking home wondering why you didn’t get the matches you hoped for. If you’ve been showing up to events across London, putting in the effort, and still coming away disappointed, the good news is this: it’s rarely about you. More often, it’s about a few small but fixable habits.

As one of London’s busiest hosts of speed dating events, we’ve seen thousands of daters come through our doors. We know exactly what separates the people who walk out with a stack of matches… and those who don’t.

Here are the 10 most common speed dating mistakes to avoid in 2025 — plus how to instantly improve your success.

1. You don’t plan ahead (and you arrive late)

London transport is unpredictable at the best of times. Add Friday night rush hour and weekend engineering works, and suddenly you’re power-walking through the city wondering if you’ll make it before the first bell.

Being late creates two problems:

• First impressions drop instantly. People notice.

• You miss rounds, which immediately reduces your chances of matching.

Give yourself time to arrive early, grab a drink, settle in and feel relaxed before the event starts. Planning your journey in advance means you walk into the room calm and confident, not rushed and flustered.

2. You drink too much

A glass of wine? Great. A couple of drinks to take the edge off? Totally normal. But getting tipsy enough that you start over-sharing, slurring, or messaging your ex during the break? Not ideal.

Daters in 2025 increasingly value clarity, self-awareness and emotional maturity. A clear head helps you stay present, remember people properly and make better decisions about who you’d genuinely like to see again.

By all means enjoy a drink — just pace yourself so you stay confident, not chaotic.

3. You talk about yourself non-stop

A speed date isn’t an interview, and it isn’t a monologue. You only get a few minutes with each person, so aim for a 50/50 balance between talking and listening.

Ask thoughtful questions, listen actively, and build on what they share with you. If you tend to freeze or ramble, prepare a few conversation starters in advance so you’re not relying on small talk in the moment.

People remember how you made them feel. Feeling heard, interesting and at ease will always beat a long list of your achievements.

4. You don’t follow the event rules properly

Most speed dating nights follow a similar format: you move from table to table, enjoy mini-dates with other singles, and note down who you’d like to see again. At the end of the evening, the host collects everyone’s choices and your matches are revealed.

But not all events are identical. Missing the instructions because you arrived late or weren’t paying attention can lead to:

• Forgetting to tick someone you liked

• Not understanding when to move or how long you have

• Becoming flustered or confused during transitions

Smooth logistics = smoother conversations. Listen carefully to the host at the start — it’s a simple step that can make a big difference to your results.

5. You arrive with a closed mind

Having preferences is completely natural, but arriving with a rigid checklist can block great potential matches.

If you decide in advance that you’ll only date someone within a very narrow age range, specific height, profession or income bracket, you may miss people who surprise you in the best possible way. Chemistry doesn’t always come in the exact package you expect.

For more on why in-person chemistry beats endless app swiping, have a read of our blog “Why Speed Dating Works Better Than Swiping”.

Stay open, curious and willing to connect with people outside your “usual type”. You’re there to meet humans, not tick boxes.

6. You leave your phone on the table

In a world where attention spans keep shrinking, giving someone your full focus is a powerful green flag.

Your phone buzzing on the table sends exactly the wrong message — distracted, disinterested, or even a bit rude. It can also make you more anxious if you’re tempted to keep checking it.

Put your phone on silent and keep it in your bag or pocket. You can catch up on messages during the break or on the way home. For those few minutes at each table, make the person in front of you feel like they’re the only one in the room.

7. You don’t dress to impress

You don’t need to arrive in black tie, but you do need to look put-together.

Simple guidelines:

• Smart-casual is almost always a safe bet

• Clean, well-fitting clothes are more attractive than super expensive outfits

• Avoid anything stained, creased or overly casual (gym gear, old hoodies, flip-flops)

If you’re coming straight from the office to a London speed dating event, a quick refresh in the bathroom, a spritz of fragrance and a tidy hairstyle can make a big difference to how confident you feel — and how you come across.

8. You give off nervous or negative energy

Everyone gets nervous at speed dating — even the most confident people. The key is how you manage it.

If your energy is overly anxious, defensive or cynical (“these things never work”, “everyone here will be shallow”), it becomes noticeable. People naturally gravitate toward those who feel positive, open and welcoming.

Take a few deep breaths before the event, shake off the workday, and treat the night as something fun rather than a high-pressure audition. You’re there to have conversations, not prove anything.

9. You try too hard to impress (instead of being yourself)

With just a few minutes to make an impression, it can be tempting to go into performance mode:

• Exaggerating achievements

• Pretending to like things you don’t

• Projecting a confident persona that doesn’t really feel like you

Authenticity is a huge dating trend in 2025 — and it’s genuinely attractive. The aim of speed dating is usually to go on a second date with someone you connect with, not to win “most impressive person in the room”.

Be real, be warm, and be yourself. That’s who you want to be matched with anyway.

10. You give up after one event

Speed dating is fast, fun and effective — but it’s not a guarantee of instant results.

Every event has a different mix of people. Sometimes you’ll click with lots of others, sometimes fewer. The most successful daters attend multiple nights, meet a wider range of people, and build confidence with each event.

Consistency always wins. Each event is another chance to practice, relax and meet someone new.

The bottom line

Speed dating should be enjoyable, social and low-pressure. If you avoid these common mistakes, your chances of connecting with compatible matches increase dramatically.

Show up, stay open-minded, be kind, be curious — and most importantly, have fun.

If you’re ready to put these tips into practice, explore our full calendar of events on the True Dating events page or book one of our upcoming London speed dating events today.