Top Warning Signs You Are In A Codependent Relationship

Do you ever feel like your day depends on the happiness of someone else? Do you know someone who struggles to set boundaries with their partner?

These could be warning signs of a toxic relationship known as a codependent relationship meaning you’ll want to keep reading.

Codependency is when one person loses their sense of independence and is disconnected from their own needs and desires. They may assess their mood and even their self-worth based on how another person behaves towards them. 

There are different types of codependency but they tend to show up mostly in romantic relationships.

A codependent relationship is a psychological term used to describe when people feel an abnormal amount of dependence on their loved one or a extreme preoccupation with their partner’s needs or wants.

Signs Of Codependency Include:

1. Lack of Boundaries: Codependent people often cannot create personal boundaries both in and outside their relationship. This blurs the line between what they need versus what their partner needs. This might exhibit itself in doing things for their partner that they don’t want to do merely because they do not feel they can say no or risk upsetting them. Someone with a lack of boundaries will have difficulty saying no to requests from their partner. 

2. Low Self-Esteem: A codependent person may lack self-esteem and seek external validation and approval from their partner. This becomes an unhealthy loop which worsens the dependency in the relationship and causes a person to only be able to derive any happiness as a result of their partner’s needs or wants being fulfilled. This trait can also exhibit an extreme need to be liked or desired by their partner. 

3. Caretaking: One person may take on the role of caretaker, worsening the lack of boundaries and constantly putting their partner before their own needs. 

4. Enabling: Codependents may enable their partner's addictions or destructive behaviors by removing any barriers, staying silent or covering up for them and simply ignoring the negative effects of their actions. This can display in alcohol or drug addictions where the partner allows for self-destructive patterns to continue. Further, this might present in physically abusive relationships by creating excuses or covering up this sort of behavior for their partner.

5. Fear of Abandonment: Both partners may have a strong fear of being abandoned or rejected. This may keep them trapped in the relationship even if it is unhealthy or toxic.

6. Difficulty Making Decisions: Codependent individuals may have trouble making independent decisions and rely on their partner's input or approval. This might come in smaller forms such as daily decisions in the household or bigger life choices such as the question of whether to have children or which religion to follow. You may want to find out more information on this at Christian dating UK

7. Unhealthy Communication: Communication in codependent relationships can be marked by passive-aggressiveness, a lack of open and honest dialogue, and a tendency to avoid conflict. This is usually due to the desire to keep the facade of harmony or peace in the relationship by one person being avoidant or overly submissive to their partner.

8. Neglecting Self-Care: Codependents often neglect their own self-care and well-being because of their absorption or obsession with tending to their partner. This is usually linked with earlier points as they typically have an extreme focus on their partner's needs and wants, losing full sight of their own desires.

Still not sure if this might be you? We have outlined some questions below that can help guide you in determining if you might be in a codependent relationship:

Are you able to make decisions on your own without the worry of how your partner might react?

Do you feel worried your partner might leave you if you do not perform certain tasks or if you speak out in opposition to their opinion?

Do you feel like you are always putting yourself last in comparison to your partner (e.g. wants, needs, self-care)?

Do you only feel good about yourself if this comes from the validation of your partner?

Do you ever make excuses or cover up your partner’s behavior when talking about them to your family or friends?

Recognizing codependent behaviors is a critical first step in working towards a healthier and more balanced relationship. Relationships do not need to end as a solution to this issue but can be improved through first identifying the problem or tendencies outlined here. Next steps might include seeking professional therapy (e.g. couples therapy) and leaning on family and friends to support you during this time. Both partners need to acknowledge the issue and be able to openly communicate about what needs to change and how they might achieve goals to form an improved relationship. Developing new and healthy behaviors, with both partners onboard, can lead to a more satisfying and happy relationship in addition to regaining self-worth and independence.

Whilst we have outlined the dangers from being in a codependent relationship, it is worth acknowledging that relationships should have a healthy degree of dependence in order to keep the couple strong and bonded. This creates a deepened form of intimacy which differentiates romantic relationships from any other sort of relationships (such a friendships). For example, asking your partner for emotional support if you’re feeling down or had a bad day is a form of healthy dependency. Both partners should feel safe expressing their desires and needs without any worry of rejection from the other. If you cannot be your true authentic self on both the good and bad days - what’s the point of being in a relationship?

At True Dating in London we are committed to helping people find their special someone in a safe and relaxed environment. Whilst we might not be able to spot the early signs of a codependent relationship, we believe it’s important to educate singles out there while they explore the dating world and meet potential partners.